Cancerversary

Today is my one year cancer anniversary. For some survivors they consider their cancerversary the day of their surgery or the first bad mammogram. For me it is the day I received the diagnosis of breast cancer. Why? Because the day I found out I had cancer was the day I started fighting.

ONE YEAR AGO TODAY ---- I was spending a wonderful afternoon at the pool with my daughter. I heard my cell phone ring but I didn't answer because I was busy playing with Maelyn. After we got out of the pool and dried off I checked my messages. There were two messages from my doctor asking me to call him back. Even though I was eager to get the results from my biopsy I decided to wait until we got home to return his call. When I got home I checked the messages at the house and there were two more messages from my doctor. I remember feeling really anxious and nervous. I called his office and the receptionist was in the middle of transfering me when we got disconnected. Ugh! So, instead of redialing I decided to put Maelyn down for a nap. She began to cry because she didn't want to nap. I heated some milk up and she drank it. With the phone in hand I put her to bed. I sat on her bed for a moment and the phone rang. It was my doctor calling me back. I remember him asking me how I was doing and talking about the hot weather. He was making small talk, I knew right away that he had bad news to tell me. "Well, I have the results of the biopsy and they aren't good."

When I heard him say CANCER my head started spinning. I remained calm and quiet on the phone because I was still sitting on Maelyns bed as she slept. I didn't want to wake her and honestly I didn't want to be alone. I took notes and asked very few questions. I was in shock. I didn't know anything about cancer. I kept thinking that this couldn't be right, someone made a mistake. After our conversation, he told me to come in the next day to talk face to face. After I hung up the phone I walked outside of Maelyns room, closed the door gently and started sobbing. The first thing I told myself was, "I'm ok." Between my sobs I just kept telling myself that I was ok. I continued to tell myself this throughout my entire treatment.

Now, a year later....I can honestly say what a wonderful year its been. I say this with all sincerity. I was pregnant with baby number two after trying for about a year. I was diagnosed with breast cancer and in the company of some amazing doctors. They told me that chemotherapy and pregnancy was doable. I had an amazing Oncologist who was very optimistic. I had a skillful surgeon. The mastectomy was successful and I had a speedy recovery. Chemotherapy started and finished with little to no side effects. I shaved my head and lost my hair but still found my confidence each day. The pregnancy went smoothly and my birth was absolutely amazing. Sullivan is happy, healthy and thriving. My PET Scan came back normal. I'm healthy. I feel great. I'm a mother. I'm a wife. I'm a sister and I'm a daughter. I couldn't ask for anything more. When everything around me is still and quiet I sometimes say to myself, "did all of this really happen?"

It did happen and I survived it. I'm a survivor. I'm a one year breast cancer survivor. I hope and I pray that I will have many, many more.