No Suspicious Abnormality

We are pleased to inform you that the results of your right breast digital diagnostic mammogram and right breast ultrasound performed on October 10, 2008, showed no suspicious abnormality.

What a day it was...... I was nervous, anxious and emotional. I changed into my gown and sat in the waiting room with the other woman. It was quiet and no one spoke. One by one we were called back into the exam rooms. After the diagnostic images you're told to return to the waiting room. During this time the films are being reviewed by the doctor. Slowly, one by one you see the same ladies returning to the waiting room to have a seat. Every now and then a technician sticks her head in the door and calls for a patient and you hear, "the doctor wants some more views." My name was called and as I exited the door she said, "I have to take a few more pictures." This time she positioned me differently into the machine. As soon as she clamped my breast into place I felt something. I felt the something that the doctor wanted another view of. Immediately I began to panic. I was a mess. I started to think that they found something. I could definitely feel whatever it was they were trying to capture on film. The tech then asked me to sit in the waiting room. I started to cry. I couldn't read a magazine to pass the time. I just stared at the wall. Ten minutes later a different tech came in and said it was time for an ultrasound.

The ultrasound was just as nerve-racking. I laid on the table and cocked my head to get a good look at the monitor. Whatever "it" was I could feel it every time the wand moved over it. My eyes were welling up with tears. I finally asked the tech if she was looking at a lymph node. She said yes. After the exam she left the room to talk with the doctor. I got off the table and sat in the chair. I remember telling myself to be calm and to think good thoughts. Every time I heard footsteps outside the door my heart fluttered. I was nervous. Finally, the tech came in and apologized for the wait. She said, "everything looks normal. We'll see you in a year." I started to cry. She gave me a hug and asked if I wanted a few minutes to myself. I said no and she gave me a gentle smile - acknowledging that this was hard for me. I continued to cry as I walked back to the waiting area. I went to the locker to retrieve my things and entered the dressing room. I sat down on the chair and just cried. I was exhausted.

I've said this many times......cancer messes with your mind. On this day, it was me against me. Me and my own thoughts. And, my thoughts kept jumping from good to bad. Calm to chaotic.

I remember calling Andy immediately as I exited the breast center. It took me a couple of seconds to speak but I told him that everything was normal. He could tell that I was emotionally drained. I was.

It was two hours of chaotic emotions. In the end I'm glad to say, it's all good. My exam was normal.