15 Weeks Pregnant

Today I am 15 weeks pregnant.

Andy and I have been trying to get pregnant for about a year. I was starting to get frustrated and disappointed when month after month my period returned. I started to think something was wrong with me because we got pregnant immediately with Maelyn.

So in February I decided to go on a diet and lose some weight. I thought maybe my weight was preventing me from getting pregnant. I looked into the "South Beach Diet" - did some research and started it. I found it really easy and I didn't feel like I was dieting at all. I lost 15 pounds and felt great. The drop in weight was noticeable to friends and family.

Abracadabra I found out I was pregnant in early May. I was so excited! The most amazing thing was that Maelyn knew I was pregnant before I officially confirmed it with a pregnancy test. On Tuesday, May 1, 2007 – Maelyn told me, “Mommy you have a baby in your belly.” I was shocked because I never said anything to her. On Thursday, May 3, 2007 – I bought a pregnancy test and found out I was pregnant. On Friday, May 4, 2007 – I found a lump in my left breast.

My diagnosis of breast cancer didn't happen until Tuesday, June 12th - 40 days after the pregnancy confirmation. During those 40 days I did everything possible not to think about the lump in my breast. I palpated my breast everyday with hopes that it would magically disappear. It didn't.

Since June 12th I've been in fight mode doing everything possible to educate myself about breast cancer in pregnant women. I've found a few great websites and few medical journals but nothing in great numbers. Along the way I've met and spoken with some pretty amazing people and have heard great success stories of women who have gone through surgery and chemotherapy and delivered healthy babies. Each day I was grow more confident that I can beat breast cancer and have a successful pregnancy.

I read YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE by Louise L. Hay. She writes:

I believe That We Choose Our Parents
Each one of us decides to incarnate upon this planet at a particular point in time and space. We have chosen to come here to learn a particular lesson that will advance us upon our spiritual, evolutionary pathway. We choose our sex, our color, our country, and then we look around for the particular set of parents who will mirror the pattern we are bringing in to work on in this lifetime.

I believe this baby is here for a purpose. After a year of trying I find out I'm pregnant and I find out that I have breast cancer. This baby has decided to show itself now. This baby was ready to enter into this lifetime now. I can't ignore that. I believe there is a reason why this is happening. I'm uncertain of what that reason is right at this moment but, I know the answer will unfold itself in the months or years to come.