CHEMO ROUND #4 of 6 (day one)

Chemotherapy Infusion #4 happened today. It was a long day for me. I woke up at 5am to tidy up the house. I wanted to come to a clean house after chemo. After getting Maelyn dressed and fed, I left the house at 7:45 and dropped her off at the neighbors house. I arrived at the doctor's office by 8:30. My appointment was 9:30. Traffic was easy going which is why I arrived so early. However, I still had to sit until 9:30 to have my blood checked.

While I sat and waited in the waiting room I began to get very emotional. I got up several times to go into the bathroom and cry. I was getting emotional because of the waiting time. The longer I sat there the more anxious I got. Chemo day in itself is emotional. I have to get myself pumped up and in the right mind set to receive all the drugs (at least for me). I tried meditating and visualizing but my emotions were very powerful today. There was an elderly women sitting off to the side of me witnessing it all. We were both called back to the lab to check blood. While sitting there we had to wait some more. This kind women asked me a bunch of questions about what type of cancer I had, how many treatments, you look cute with that pink bandanna on, do you need radiation, did the doctor's catch it early?, technology these days sure are wonderful, etc.... I answered all her questions but kept my responses short and brief. What I really wanted to do was break down sobbing. I felt like screaming, "I hate waiting?"

What it comes down to is the anticipation of getting the lab results back. It's nerve racking. Either your cleared and approved for chemo or your denied and sent home. I don't want to be sent home. I don't want any delays in my treatment. I do a lot of mental and physical preparation to get myself ready for chemo days. Being sent home would be a huge disappointment for me.

I was cleared by Dr. Austin and went to the Infusion Lab. Jenny was my nurse today. She is sweet, kind and genuine. All the nurses where wearing funky Halloween hats and they decorated the counter with Halloween signs and pumpkins. It was festive! Chemo didn't start until 11am and full hour after my scheduled time. As usual, things went smoothly. I used the bathroom 12+ times during my 4 hour perch on the lazy boy.

Andy arrived for lunch and we ate yummy chicken wraps. It was delicious! He stayed for a short time and then returned to work. It was a peaceful infusion. I kept the tv on mute and watched CNN. If something sparked my interest I turned up the volume to listen. Otherwise, in between broadcasts I read my book.

I finished up chemo by 2:30. I spent a total of 6 hours at Atlanta Cancer Care today. I said my goodbyes and told everyone that I would be back in three weeks.

Four down and two to go!!