My Inner Athlete

As far as I can remember, I've always been an athlete. My Mom, who herself was an amazing athlete competed for many years in Germany. She ran competitively and played on Germany's Woman's Handball Team. It was my mom who encouraged me to play sports. And so, I did. 

I was a water baby from early on. I still have very early memories of being thrown into the pool and being completely submerged with the instructor near by. I think that's how they did it back in the 70's. I joined a local swimming club when I was six. I was the youngest swimmer on Team Gotham.  Since I was the youngest, I remember trying my best to keep up with the older kids. Our ages spanned from elementary to high school age. It was a swim club held at Stony Brook University on Long Island. Coach Dave, was tall and skinny, with an ultra thick mustache. [Tom Selleck kind of thick] I still remember to this day what an awesome leader he was. He was fierce and he inspired me. He expected all of us to be on time, in the pool and ready to go. If we were late, then there would be extra laps to swim. He pushed us hard but, he also encouraged us. Team huddles were energizing. I got to stand in the middle of the huddle, while everyone put a hand on top of my head. We chanted, G-O-T-H-A-M,  G-O-T-H-A-M, G-O-T-H-A-M, GOOOOOOOO GOTHAM! It was awesome.

I learned early on how to find my inner athlete. I learned to deal with the nervous butterfly's in the pit of my stomach. I learned how to manage the anticipation of standing on the swim blocks waiting for those words, "swimmer's take your mark".....(pause)...... BANG (the shot goes off). All of this at the age of seven.

Competing as a team and as an individual, teaches you many life lessons (discipline, respect, goal setting, concentration, self-esteem and responsibility).

• You learn to push yourself and to not give up.  

• You learn mental toughness. 

• You learn how to win and you learn how to lose. 

• You learn how to be a good sport, especially if the girl in the next lane just beat you. 

• You learn to shake hands and offer a congratulatory remark to the winner in the heat. 

• You learn to get out of the pool and walk to your team mates who are waiting on the side, offering their high fives and good cheers whether you win or not. 

• You learn how to keep going when your body just wants to stop. 

• You learn how good it feels to give it your all and get a win. 

• You also learn how it feels to give it your all and lose. It makes you want to work that much harder. 

• You learn to encourage your team mates because you know we're all in this together. 

• You learn the true meaning of team work. 

• You learn early on that it's not all about winning. 

• You learn to set goals.

Since childhood, my inner athlete has had a strong presence in my life: swimming, soccer, track and field, basketball, tennis, and volleyball. I was an all season athlete. I played sports the entire time I was in school (elementary, middle and high school). There was never a season that I wasn't participating in some sort of athletic sport. When I went off to college I continued to play. I played College Volleyball at Buffalo State College, in New York. In the off season, I continued playing around town, where I could find a league and I also practiced with the Men's Club Team (volleyball). Seriously, there was never a time when I wasn't playing some sort of sport.

After Graduating from college, I moved to a small rural country town in upstate New York. There was no volleyball but there was Karate. So, I joined the local martial arts school and learned karate and tai chi in my late 20's. Loved it!

After three years of small town life, it was time for a change. I moved to Atlanta and low and behold, there was a huge community of volleyball player's. I worked my way in, found a team and started playing. I played for five years up until the first trimester of my first born - February, 2004. I was thirty one years old.

From 2004 - 2007 my inner athlete disappeared. What happened you might ask? My answer is simple - I put myself last. I put everything I had into my new marriage, my new daughter and my new role as wife and mother. Flash forward three years - CANCER strikes in June 2007.

What does all this talk about athletics have to do with Cancer? Here it goes.... my inner athlete made her appearance the second I heard those words, "you have cancer." I immediately went into fight mode. Even though I was treading in uncharted water's, I was determined to give it my all. I was determined to keep going, work hard and come out winning. And, I relied upon all the things I learned as an athlete over the years. Just maybe my "amateur athletic career" was preparing me for the biggest match of my life - Cancer. Maybe, maybe not. What I do know, is that I tapped into my inner athlete and she came out.

I looked at my mastectomy as a sport injury. I knew there was going to be recovery, rehabilitation and hard work on my end. Doctor's told me that I might not be able to fully raise my arm above my head and that I might lose sensation in my left arm. I knew the risks going into surgery. Yet, I told myself that I would get through it and face whatever comes my way. That's what I kept telling myself from the beginning, "Whatever happens.....happens."

I can say, surgery was a success. My cancerous tumor had been removed along with a cluster of lymph nodes from my body. I put the time in rehabilitating my left arm. I found myself back in the pool (just like my youth). I started as soon as I had the okay from my doctor. I began my workouts in the neighborhood pool. I would tread water and work on range of motion in the deep end. Once the majority of pain in my chest subsided, that's when I stopped favoring my left arm. I started lifting and carrying things (like my baby boy) with my left arm. I didn't want to get lazy and I wanted normal use of my left arm. I still remember the aches and pains of discomfort while sleeping at night. It took about five months for me to sleep on my side without pain. Today, I still have a little numbness in the back of my arm and armpit but, my range of motion is awesome. There is a slight difference between the left and right but not enough to bother me.

When chemotherapy started, I too faced it like an athletic event. I put my game face on and went for it. Not only was I playing for myself but, I was playing for my unborn child and my immediate family - My Team. I had a system to the chemo madness. I kept my body hydrated, nutritionally fueled, and mentally and emotionally ready to endure 4 hours of infusion on chemo day. In my mind and in my heart, I knew I could do it. I firmly believe that your will to "win" needs to start there.

And, this is what I learned long ago as a child, a teenager, a college student and a young adult - I learned that winning the "game" in my mind can be the key to winning.
 

This is a picture of me taken in December 1979 with some of my team mates. I'm the girl on the left. I was six years old - just a few weeks from turning seven. I look at this picture and I see the ground work of who I am today.